Desolate

Main entry: de-so-late
Pronunciation: [de-sə-lət]
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English desolat, from Latin desolatus, past participle of desolare to abandon, de- + solus alone
Date: 14^th century

1: devoid of inhabitants and visitors: Deserted
2: joyless, disconsolate, and sorrowful through or as through separation from a loved one “a desolate widow”
3a: showing the effects of abandonment and neglect: Dilapidated “a desolate old house” b: Barren, Lifeless “a desolate landscape” c: devoid of warmth, comfort, or hope: Gloomy “desolate memories”

Why is it always the worst case possible that happens?

My chest aches, the tears are on their verge of breaking out, there is a lump in my throat. Worrying, anxiety and sadness overwhelm me as so many times before. My beloved little dog is watching me. She looks worried, her ears hanging down as she looks at me with her big brown eyes. She knows that I am not feeling well, she can se it.

I think I had an epiphany the other day.

I think I realized something fundamental about human nature and the way we work.

Frustration

I feel confused by all these people I meet, people not being able to tell the difference between an atheist and an agnostic, people not being able to see the world for what it is. People living in their small constricted worlds where everything is black or white, true or false. Please wake up, open your eyes and see the truth. Nothing is black or white, you can always view the same thing in a million different ways and depending on what you are looking at, why you are looking at it and how you are looking at it the result will sometimes be different and most likely be somewhere in between those extremes, a greyish tint, just like the sky was the other day.. and anyway.. what makes your or your country’s view the right one? Why are you so sure that you are right and they are wrong? Have you even asked the right questions?

Rancid / Fall Back Down

I just realized that this was a more appropriate song for this day and it goes out to all my friends, my family and those who genuinely cares for me.

Scattered thoughts
Grey sky
Lack of hope

Alice in Chains / Down in a Hole

Down in a hole and I don’t know if I can be saved
See my heart I decorate it like a grave
You don’t understand who they thought I was supposed to be
Look at me now a man who wont let himself be

Down in a hole, feeling so small
Down in a hole, losing my soul
Id like to fly, but my wings have been so denied